Santa Visits the Shack

 Despite the pandemic and the new Omicron blizzard that’s predicted, we got our family together for Christmas.  I never imagined this holiday season year to be so fraught with uncertainty after two doses of vaccine and the boosters.  We communicated often with our kids and relatives and vowed to all be as safe as possible in the run-up to the holiday.  Everyone got a Covid test before coming to our house on Caton Road.  We just couldn’t bear the thought of Christmas apart.  On Christmas Eve I was in the shack waiting for my kids to arrive, including June, my granddaughter who is having her first Christmas.  She’s ten months old. 

I was about to go into the house when I heard something outside.  I had Jeff Beck’s 1971 album “Rough and Ready” on the turntable.  Christmas music for old rockers.  I hit mute and listened closely.

The sound I heard was like shuffling and stamping and maybe muted bells of some kind. At first, I thought it was my wind chimes, but it had a different tone.  I stepped out onto the shack porch and turned on the outside light.  Just past our pin oak, on my neighbor’s lawn, there was a contraption with animals near it.  I walked over to take a closer look.

Damned if it wasn’t a sleigh with nine reindeer in harness.  The nose of the lead reindeer glowed a soft red.  Their heads were down, nibbling Tammy’s brown lawn.  As they grazed the bells on their leather belly bands jingled softly.

“Hey fellas, where’s the driver of this outfit?”

One of the reindeer hitched nearest the sleigh lifted his head and looked at me with big eyes.  Reindeer aren’t as big as you imagine when you stand next to them.  For all their magical powers, flying around the globe in a single night, they seemed like small ordinary creatures.

I wondered if the reindeer that looked at me was Blitzen.  Rudolph gets all the fame you know, because of the song, the marketing, and all the books.  Prancer was once featured in a movie.  But of the nine, I always liked Blitzen.  Not that there is anything wrong with Dasher, Dancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, or Donner, but Blitzen was mentioned last in Clement Moore’s famous poem about Santa, The Night Before Christmas.  Rooting for the underdog, I think.

As I was scratching the potential Blitzen’s head between his antlers, which he enjoyed immensely, I heard a commotion on Tammy’s roof.  With a streetlight behind him, I saw what had to be Santa’s silhouette come out of her chimney, straddle the ridge, walk to the gable end of the roof, throw a bag to the ground, and shimmy down an old TV aerial tower onto the ground.  Pretty spry for an old guy.  He strode across the lawn towards me.

“HO, H0, H0.  Merry Christmas McClure.”

“HO, HO, HO yourself Santa.  I gotta say, even though I run into you every year, I never expected to see you while you were working.”

“Yeah, well it’s a tad unorthodox but I’m ahead of schedule and I’ve been wanting to see this shack you keep writing about and putting on FaceBook.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re on FaceBook Santa.  Jesus, how many friends must you have anyway?”

“No, I’m not on social media at all.  Neither is Jesus by the way.  But occasionally the elves share what they’re looking at.  They showed me that shack lit up under a big moon.  Couldn’t help but admire this building when I saw it.  But you know, it’s smaller than it looks in the pictures.”

“I thought the same thing about the reindeer.  Say, is this Blitzen here?”

“Yeah, it is.  How’d you know?”

“Well, he’s right up by the sleigh.  I was thinking maybe Moore the poet put them in order as they were hitched, front to back.  He never mentioned Rudolph by the way.”

Santa got close and talked in a low voice.

“Rudolph wasn’t part of the original team, and to tell the truth, we don’t exactly need him.  That “Rudolf with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight” line was completely made up in the song made famous by Gene Autry.  I don’t need some reindeer to chart my course.  We did without Rudolf for 1700 years or so, then SURPRISE, so many people heard that song and believed in him he shows up at the stable.”

“Sounds like Q.”

“You mean the supposed Q Anon guy?  No, that myth is destructive.  Rudolf here is harmless.  He’s no better or worse than the rest of the reindeer, but that shiny red nose is completely over-rated.”

As if Rudolf recognized his name, he raised his head and blinked his nose at us.  Donner was getting jealous of all the attention Blitzen was getting and started rubbing his antler against my leg.  I stepped away from the reindeer and turned my attention to the guy in red.

“You been doing OK McClure?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess.  The Covid thing has me down, although my family has not been badly affected.”

“How about the writing?  Did you get your book done?”

“It’s drafted, edited, and ready to go but for some reason, I’m stalled out.  Mostly just doing the occasional blog post.  I’m not sure what I’m doing.  Can’t pull the trigger and get it published.”

“Maybe you don’t want the attention.  Going public always invites criticism.  You’d think nobody would be critical of Santa, but I have my detractors you know.  You can’t let it bother you.  You ought to work through that McClure.  You are mortal you know.  Life doesn’t go on forever for you.”

“Will it go on forever for you?”

“As long as people believe in me and what I stand for.  I suppose it could die out, but I have a pretty good lock on the kids.  Frankly, I’m more worried about the health of the human beings on the planet than my own existence.”

“You and me both Santa.  It’s the climate change I fear most.  Do you know what’s weird about being old and mortal?  When I think badly about the future, I’m not always in it.  You’d think that might be a comfort, but I’m somehow more invested in what happens next than I used to be.”

“That shouldn’t be a surprise.  I know why you feel that way, McClure.  You’ve gone from thinking mainly about your own life to imagining the future of others who will live beyond your time.  In fact, that’s one of the reasons I stopped here.  A person very important in your life is going to be on your driveway in about five minutes.”

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, come on McClure.  You’re not getting senile on me, are you?  What’s been the biggest event in your family since last Christmas?  Who’s new among the circle of people you and your wife value most in life?”

“Oh.  You mean June.”

“Duh.”

“And she’s about to be on my driveway?  How do you know?”

“I swear McClure.  Have you been drinking?  Santa knows these things, and you know I know.  I thought perhaps you would introduce me to your granddaughter.  Maybe get a picture?  It’s her first Christmas after all.”

“Oh Santa, thank you.  That would be the best present in years.”

“June is your best present in years, McClure.  I’ve been monitoring her behavior, and she’s been very good.  And cute as a bug to boot.  You’re a lucky Papa.  I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks again Santa.”

“You’re welcome.  Now get her out here.  I got places to go and things to do.  June’s Mom is unbuckling her from her car seat right now.”

“I’ll text her.”

“The reindeer and all the trappings might scare her and confuse her Mom.  You get June and I’ll get into this shack of yours.  Let’s do this.”

I met Moe by the garage and persuaded her to let me have June for just a minute.  Told her I had something to show her in the shack.  Would only be a minute.  She seemed puzzled but handed her over.  June had a big grin for her Papa like she always does.

When I stepped into the shack Santa was sitting on the futon looking splendid in his red velvet and white fur.  

“Let’s see if this baby girl is going to let Santa hold her,” Santa said.

I put June in his arms, she looked into his eyes, and a moment was born.  Old guys like me are known to cry more easily than when they were young.   I was a little teary-eyed taking the picture but got it done.  Let this serve as the McClure family’s Christmas card to you.

Merry Christmas from the Shack.

2021