Believe it or Not

I saw Sam Baker, folksinger from West Texas, in Princeton a couple weeks ago and have had his four CD’s on my changer ever since. God they’re good. But the words distract me, and I have something I need to write this morning. So I replaced Sam with Johann, Bach that is. Put on the Brandenburg concertos and some complicated Bach organ pieces. It’s not Sam Baker, but it’s really good too. I’m stalling.

I have started to write this essay several times in past years and stopped. My parent’s advice, especially at big family dinners that Republicans and non Presbyterians might attend, was “don’t talk politics or religion.” I talk politics plenty in this blog, mostly around specific issues, but I rarely speak directly about religion. Although I attend a church regularly and spend hours involved in the organization and the programs it offers, I rarely talk about it. I’m not sure why.

To cut to the chase I am not a typical believer. If there is a package of beliefs Christians must ascribe to, a litmus test, I may well fail it. Is there such a test? I think those who profess to be Christian and know something about the church and its teachings carry something akin to a set of conditions in their heads you have to believe to be a Christian. Where exactly do we get that set of things? Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists no doubt have the same sense of what it means to live up to their prospective labels. What is the package of Christian beliefs?

The closest thing Christians have is probably the Apostle’s Creed. It’s old, very old, and hasn’t changed. (Church and change are almost incompatible concepts.) It was first mentioned in 390 A.D. in a letter to someone from a synod in Milan. The story goes that each of the apostle’s contributed statements of faith to the deal. However it became popular, I said it dutifully, out loud, every Sunday as a kid growing up in a Presbyterian Church. It followed the Lord’s Prayer like clockwork. I hardly knew what I was saying. Later as an adult I found I didn’t believe all of it. But I kept saying it. Finally I stopped all together.

Use of the Apostle’s Creed is or was widespread among Christian denominations. I think creeds have largely fallen out of favor. I know it has in my church. We haven’t said it in years. Professing adherence to a list of beliefs can be narrow. It can put people off who have a couple of items on the list they don’t ascribe to, forcing one to be publiclly hypocritical. Not that hypocrisy and church aren't strangers to each other, any more than churchgoers pretending to believe the whole package in front of their peers. In how many aspects of your life do you believe to the letter what your neighbor believes? How often do you accept the entire package of anything? Every plank in the platform?

I attend the United Church of Christ here in Ottawa, which affords me great latitude in what I believe. Thank God. I push those limits. The Apostle’s Creed is a good concise vehicle to illustrate what the church thinks (or thought) good Christians should believe. I’ll use it to speed this up if you don’t mind. What follows is what the Apostle’s Creed would have us believe and what I believe side by side. Why is it so hard for me to do this? I don’t know. We no longer brand people as heretics do we? It seems to me we respect each other’s privacy around matters of religion so much it’s practically secret. I don’t know that I’ve told more than ten people these things. Here goes.

APOSTLES/ DAVE

I believe in God the Father/ Absolutely.

Maker of Heaven and Earth/ I don’t believe in heaven or the Bible’s account of earth's creation.

And in Jesus Christ our Lord/ Good here. A man whose life had tremendous impact.

Who was born of the Virgin Mary/ Born of Mary I believe. Virgin? No.

Suffered under Pontius Pilate/ Yes.

was crucified, died, and was buried/ All happened I believe.

He descended into Hell/ I don’t believe in Hell.

On the third day he rose from the dead/ I don’t believe that.

and ascended into Heaven/ I don’t believe in Heaven either.

Where he sitteth at the right hand of God
the Father almighty, from whence he shall
come to judge the quick and the dead./ Can’t embrace the judgment, neither quick nor dead.

I believe in the Holy Ghost/ Spirit of God? I believe in that.

The Holy Catholic Church/ The universal church? That’s OK.

The communion of saints/ Mortal people who exemplified Christian values in their life? Yes.

The forgiveness of sins/ I believe forgiveness is the very heart,the best part, of the Christian faith.

The resurrection of the body/ No.

And the life everlasting./ Nope.

Faith and belief, even when not discussed, are terribly important to people. When it came to light not long ago that I don’t believe in heaven a person very close to me was upset because she believed that cancels out the possibility of us being together there. I think she fears for my soul.

A friend of mine, a very accomplished child welfare agency director who grew up Jewish and was an avowed atheist, contracted a serious cancer and became terminally ill. As he died, he reminded his family and friends of his belief that once he was dead, he was dead. It was over. At his memorial service, secular, one of his children said “Dad, we really hope you’re wrong about this.”

I don’t think I’m wrong. And I think many silently believe as I do. Why would rational people who use science and modern thought to guide their lives every day suddenly fold up their tent when confronted with ancient religious dogma? I am not an atheist, but resurrection of the body? Eternal life? Why is that so important? Isn’t it greedy?

Another thing that distinguishes my beliefs from traditional Christian teaching is my sense of us as humans. I believe we are born good, not persons with an evil nature that requires salvation. I think mankind is intrinsically good and that each of us has a duty to find that goodness within us and live it. Celebrate it even. Church is vital to helping us find that goodness. It creates community around those values.

Does all this mean I shouldn’t go to church? Do I have to drop out of the choir? Should I stop cooking Sunday lunch once a month for the public? Can I no longer listen to the pipe organ? Am I unworthy because I don’t believe the whole package? I don’t know. I just know what I believe, and I see no reason not to be honest and open about it. I wish we could all be honest. We might get to know one another better. We might even find a new kind of faith.

Boy I’m glad that’s over. How about those Cubs?