Namaste

Finally the sun broke through.  After what seemed like weeks of dense clouds and fog the morning was clear and I could see the sun across the ravine from the shack, shining red through the trees.  It was 7:21:22 a.m..    Within an hour the sun yellowed and was above the trees, throwing light into my shack through the east glass wall.  Light passed over my wood stove and threw wavy lines of heat shadows on my desk, the shadows more visible than the heat lines themselves.  The sky was bright blue.  The world around me was alive.  It’s amazing what sunlight does to lift my spirits.

We traveled over the New Year holiday.  I drove in fog and felt pressed down, not able to see the tops of buildings.  We walked through streets in the rain.  Water collected near clogged drains and cars speeding through puddles splashed pedestrians.  If not for the Christmas lights the gloom would have been constant.  We were with friends, and for the most part stayed indoors.  But the weather didn’t break.  Not particularly cold, no snow to speak of, it was a weird December.  Winter was taking its toll in an odd way.  My snow blower sits idle still.

We are living through mid winter in the North.  We shouldn’t be surprised.  Sunlight bottomed out on December 21, the winter solstice.  On that day the sun rose at 7:18:43 and sat at 4:29:34.  We enjoyed a mere 9 hours, 11 minutes, and 18 seconds of sunlight if the sun was even visible.  As I recall it wasn’t.  In that case you just get brightness, which fades to darkness.  Darkness had been winning, creeping up on us without notice, since the autumnal equinox September 21.  But at some point it becomes critical.  Before your day is through you find yourself in darkness, retreating to your house, seeking relief from artificial lights.  Darkness makes the world close up, and if we are not careful, we close up with it.

But we’re moving in the right direction now.  On January 2^nd we’d gained 5 minutes and 26 seconds more daylight over the solstice, bringing us up to 9:16:44.  Just two days later, on January 4^th, we’re already up to 9:18:35.  We cross the 10 hour mark on January 30^th, and though snow may fall and storms may blow, it’s all goodness and light from there, until we max out on June 20^st at 15 hours, 10 minutes and 4 seconds of daylight.  All it takes, when you winter in the North, is patience and faith that it’s going to happen.

I went back to yoga yesterday.  I am more than three months past total knee replacement and my therapist thought I was ready.  It was good to be back.  Lots of the old yogis were there along with some new ones.  It was a challenge doing my first plank, and downward facing dog.  It’s not just the knee but my overall fitness that needs work.  I’d thought about different poses and how challenging they might be, but I’d forgotten other parts of the yoga experience at the YMCA.

The music is so good.  While I was gone they replaced the sound system with a much better one.  Soothing music makes the whole class better.  While I held poses I anticipated the next notes and was carried away by the tunes.  You forget how your old muscles and bones are responding and focus on something outside of you.

I’d also forgotten the importance of the words of our instructor.  She talks about the practice of yoga throughout the session.  She said something yesterday that hit home.

“You are trying to find that place between easy and hard.  If you find a particular pose or movement too hard, back off.  Pain is not what you seek, but simply challenge.  Most of us are way too hard on ourselves.  You will not reach perfection in a day, or ever.  Try to better, but be easy on yourself.  Be patient.”

Since my surgery I have been terribly impatient at the pace of my recovery.  Even though others tell me I’m doing well, am on track, I want more now.  I have been terribly frustrated by what I cannot do.  And then in an instant, by listening to that short thought, I realized I should be thankful for what I have been given the new ability to do, and to be patient.  Not my strong suit, patience.  But I resolve to do better.

I wanted to get this short blog out to you today because I hope to return to a weekly post during the coming year.  I’m not terribly big on resolutions, but I hope to do better. And if I miss a week, I won’t beat myself up about it.  I hope you experience a good year ahead, with lots of sunshine. 

Namaste.